You eat clean, go to the gym a few times, maybe meet your best pal for a run at lunch or the odd evening. You do that from Monday to about Friday morning'ish.
Then Friday lunchtime hits….
and you make a beeline for that birthday cake that’s being passed around the office. Then it's a staff lunch out and you eat a load of stuff you never normally would.
Before you know it you’ve just jumped on the express train to Fear and Loathing in your pyjamas....
Saturday night you end up in a McDonalds or a kebab shop after having wayyyyyyy to many cocktails (your boss was a real *&^% last week and you just wanted to cheer yourself up... insert shitty scenario here).
The Sunday evening “fear” sets in around 5ish and you vow to yourself to give up drinking and stop eating shit. You think to yourself on Sunday evening, "Well I've blown it now, may as well just order a take away and watch catch-up. Monday, I'm gonna get my shit together and go to the gym after work."
Until next Friday rolls around and you are right back there again. The thing is, I know this scenario all to well - because I lived it for a really long time. (Eating a McDonalds drunk and heelless on Brixton Hill outside the Lambeth council office was a major low point. This did happen on more than one occasion)
Running to stand still.
One step forward, two steps back.
Eating crap "food" wasn't what used to really upset me, it was the fear and self-loathing that was the worst. I was also really shameful of my behaviour, because on paper I looked like I hade my shit together. Eating right, exercising during the week etc, etc. I was well able to maintain that facade - but I was so miserable underneath it all I wanted to make the discomfort disappear at the weekend. Hence the partying and eating crap.
But, it was never about the food or the alcohol. It was about me and my relationship to Love.
Yes, L-O-V-E. Stick with me here....
The guilt. Where does it come from and why does it make us feel so disgustingly awful?
From a metaphysical standpoint it’s because we're choosing Fear over Love.
Fear is the fuel that the nasty girl in your head uses to keep you stuck and maintaining failure. One step forward, two steps back. By choosing fear you are destined to repeat patterns, which you feel helpless and unable to break out of.
By turning away from Love and choosing fear (it's also guilt, just in a different outfit) you then consciously choose fearful or nasty thoughts about yourself or others to try and undo the discomfort of what you are feeling.
Nasty thoughts then lead to self-sabotage, because you will do or use anything (alcohol, food, sex, smoking, drugs, relationships, work) to relieve the discomfort of feeling guilty and vile.
What you are doing is desperately trying to relieve the discomfort of feeling out of alignment with your true nature, which is LOVE.
So instead of choosing fear, Choose Love.
Here are some helpful tips to begin to move out of guilt and fear and into Love.
Tip 1: Laugh
When you hear your nasty gal pipe up with all her BS opinions, recognise exactly what she’s trying to do! (You will recognise her voice because you will feel contracted, fearful, pinched-off from the flow and just generally yukky. Your true nature, loving voice will make you feel happy, expansive and bursting with love :) Laugh at the madness of all of these thoughts. Truth bomb: THEY ARE NOT REAL OR TRUE! So laugh it off.
Tip 2: Forgive
So yeah, ok, you fell of the wagon. News flash: It's not a big deal. At every moment, you have a choice and a chance to choose better, to choose LOVE. So forgive yourself, over and over and over again. Don't inprision yourself in fear about food or those cocktails that made you do a whole heap of cray, cray shit. FORGIVE YOURSELF, move on, choose better next time.
Tip 3: Love
Love yourself. Go worship at the alter of your own magnificence. You have work to do and gifts to share with the world - listen to what your heart is calling for you to share, then share. That's how you choose Love every day, by doing what you love. Groundbreakingly simple, I know. By doing this, you will start to choose Love in every area of you life, your food, your relationships, your exercise...This really does change everything. (If you want to book a skype chat with me to talk about how I can help you choose Love over fear - just reach out here)
Choose Love. Choose LOve. Choose Love.
Please share with me in the comments below what action steps you will make this week to choose Love. Also, if you found this post helpful, I would love if you could share it with your tribe.
With overflowing Love until next week,